#1
The Time I Had Just Got Out Of The Bath And Didn’t Realise I Was Exposing Myself Whilst Watching TV
#2
Warm Nights
#3
When Kellie Is Having A Hard Time I Try My Best To Help Her Through It, Because I Know She’ll Do The Same For Me. Take Care Of Each Other, Guys
#4
When I’ve Turned Over To Go To Sleep But Kellie Wants Attention: Shit Gets Real Weird
#5
Anyone Else Do That Thing Where You’re So Tired You’re Actually Too Tired To Begin The Bedtime Routine, So You Just Continue To Sit There Exhausted?
#6
Sometimes Kellie And I Will Be Talking To Each Other When We’ll Suddenly Break Out In Spontaneous Silent Dancing
#7
Spooning Technique No.73
#8
When Kellie Is About To Give Me A Massage And Is Applying The Oil/lotion, She Pretends She’s A Guy Ejaculating On Me
#9
Kellie Sometimes Does This Weird Thing Where She Bares Her Teeth And Gums – We Call It The Old Dog Face – And Stares At Me In Silence Waiting For Me To Notice
#10
The Time I Didn’t Realize I Had A Hole In My Pants And My Balls Were Hanging Out
#11
Recently The 3 Of Us Were Involved In A Nasty Car Crash. Betty, Our Honda Civic, Protected Us And Made Sure None Of Us Were Hurt, But She Was Too Damaged To Salvage
#12
Most Days When I Get Home From Work Poppy Wants To Play Tea Parties With Me. We Pretend To Pour The Tea And Eat Cake And It’s Adorable To Watch Her
#13
The Time Kellie Was In The Garden And Caught Me Flexing In The Mirror Post-Workout
#14
Sometimes I Sleep In Weird Positions
#15
Kellie Does The Most Amazing Job Raising Poppy. She Dedicates Every Waking Moment To Making Poppy Happy And I Couldn’t Be More Proud Of Her. We Love You Mummy
#16
When Either Of Us Is Ill We Always Buy Each Other Grapes And Fresh Orange Juice, Like It’s A Magical Cure For Every Illness
#17
About 2AM Poppy Comes Into Our Bed. This Is Her Preferred Sleeping Position
#18
We Would Just Gaze At Her Lovingly For Hours
#19
Sometimes She Can Be A Bit Of A Silly Bum, But I Do Bloody Love Her
#20
Kellie And I Are Both Ridiculously Insecure People
#21
Monday Never Comes (My Weakness Is Chocolate Ice Cream, Kellie’s Is Crisps, Chips)
#22
Kellie And I Were In A Coffee Shop When She Noticed I Had A Single Long White Hair Sprouting Out Of One Of My Eyebrows
#23
Kellie Likes It When I Do Chores
#24
Kellie And Poppy Are Staying At Nanny’s This Week. I’ll Be Sitting By Myself Singing Celine Dion
#25
Every Morning We Wake Mummy Up Like This
#26
Spooning Technique No. 27 – The Bear Grab
#27
When I Try And Be Sexy But Just Look Like A Particularly Feminine Girl
#28
Over 30 Hours Of Labor Summed Up In One Illustration. You Did Brilliantly Kellie. I Love You
#29
Kellie Always Supports Me Through My Latest Crisis Of Confidence
#30
Spooning Technique No. 83 – The Accidental Knees
#31
And They Say Romance Is Dead
#32
Kellie Drops Food On Herself Literally Every Mealtime, And Is Still Surprised Each Time It Happens
#33
I Love Carrying Poppy
#34
Kellie’s Belly Has Developed A Soft Coating Of Hair During Pregnancy, Like A Baby Chicken
#35
If You Say ‘cheers’ To Poppy When She Has A Drink She’ll Clink Her Cup With Yours. It’s Super Adorable
#36
Kellie Finds It Funny The Way I Always Use Two Towels When I Get Out Of The Bath Or Shower. I Thought Everyone Did?
#37
Our First Day At Home With Poppy
#38
Poppy Isn’t A Big Fan Of Sleeping. Once, The Only Way We Could Get Her To Fall Asleep Was By Kellie Getting Into Her Cot Too And Laying Beside Her. I Walked Into The Nursery To Check On Them And Kellie Was Squeezed Into The Cot Reading Her Phone, Afraid To Move
#39
Whenever Kellie Is Unwell She Makes Sure To Keep Me Posted With Regular Updates On Her Condition
#40
This Is Actually How Kellie And I Talk To Each Other
#41
Multitasking
#42
Sorry For The Lack Of Posts Over The Last Few Days, Normal Service Is Resumed. Here’s Kellie Shaming Me When I Forgot To Flush The Toilet Once
#43
And The Winner Is
#44
Sometimes At Night I’ll Accidentally Scratch Kellie With One Of My Sharp Disgusting Toenails
#45
Kellie And I Call Each Other All Kinds Of Pet Names. This Is A Text Conversation We Had Today
#46
Ready For Sleepy Times
#47
I Love Reading Bedtime Stories To Poppy So Much. They’re Some Of My Most Cherished Memories
#48
Just As I’m Getting Sleepy Kellie Gets Silly And Craves Attention. Occasionally She Might Pretend To Penetrate Me
#49
Pete Spends So Long In The Bath Reading His Phone That Kellie Wonders If He’s Dead
#50
When I Say ‘ah, Gentle’ Poppy Strokes My Beard Softly
#51
Sometimes When Kellie Is Doing Stuff And She Bends Over I Say ‘parp’ As If She’s Farted
#52
The Time Kellie Had A Single Hair On Her Lip
#53
A Few Weeks Ago I Picked Up A Nintendo Switch And I’ve Been Enchanted By Zelda Ever Since. Kellie Has Lost Me In The Evenings To It
#54
Kellie Gets Playful When I Want To Sleep
#55
Spoon Techniques
#56
The Time Kellie Woke Up When I Was Reading My Phone, And In Her Confused Sleepy State Thought I Was Reading Her Phone. She Had No Recollection Of Any Of It Come Morning
#57
Pete Gets Down Sometimes
#58
If Kellie Is In A Bad Mood Or Having A Rubbish Day, My Default Plan Of Action Is To Offer Her A Nice Cup Of Tea
#59
As Poppy Is Getting Older (And Has Teeth) Breastfeeding Is A Little More Painful For Kellie At Times
#60
Anyone Else Incredibly Fussy About Bananas? For Me They Have To Be Completely Yellow – Not Green – And Have Absolutely No Brown Spots. Kellie Likes Them Almost Totally Covered In Brown Spots, The Weirdo
#61
Poppy’s First Swim, And Someone Does A Poo In The Pool
#62
I Love To Snack On Nuts, Kellie Says I’m Like A Squirrel
#63
Working Out At Home Means Kellie Is Always On Hand To Offer Support And Encouragement
#64
This Is Kellie’s Way Of Telling Me I Have Bad Breath
#65
Little Farts
#66
My Cold Feet Annoy Kellie
#67
Occasionally When Kellie Bends Over To Do Something I’ll Start Pretending To Hump Her, Only This One Time She Happened To Be Bending Over To Get A Hot Tray Out Of The Oven
#68
Poppy Helps Me Throw Her Nappies (Diapers) Away. I Say ‘bye Bye Poo-Poo’ And She Drops The Bag Into The Bin
#69
We Bought Two Multipacks Of Differently Flavored Magnum Ice Creams. Kellie Lost Her Shit When I Ate One Of ‘her’ Ones
#70
Spooning Technique No. 58 – The Life Jacket
#71
When You Have To Go Back To Work But You’re Still Breastfeeding
#72
Playfighting
#73
Bedtimes
#74
Kellie And I Are Both Hypochondriacs – We’ve Constantly Got A List Of Minor Ailments That We Like To Moan To Each Other About, Like Some Kind Of Weird Competition
#75
Pretty Much Every Night Before Bed Kellie And I Brush Our Teeth Together, Every So Often Pulling Silly Faces As We Go
#76
Poppy’s First Tentative Steps With Mummy
#77
Kellie And Baby Both Hiccuping Like Crazy
#78
Sometimes Kellie Will Be Cooking Dinner And Burning It, Setting Off The Smoke Alarm. She’ll Then Get Irrationally Annoyed At The Smoke Alarm
#79
Sometimes When Kellie And I Facetime We Pretend To Feed Each Other
#80
Kellie Discovered Some Hard Truths About Giving Birth
#81
Pretty Standard Conversation For Us
#82
Chilling Out Together On The Living Room Rug
#83
So We Have This Nice Table From Habitat And Kellie Decided Whilst Changing The Batteries In The Smoke Alarm That It Would Be Totally Fine To Stand Right On The Edge Of It. It Didn’t End Well, Folks
#84
Poppy Can Be A Wilful Little Madam When She Wants To Be
#85
Poppy Likes To Ride The Mummy Pony. Kellie And I Both Sing It And She Giggles As She Bounces
#86
Kellie Asked Me To Help Get Rid Of A Pesky Cranefly (Also Know As Daddy Long Legs)
#87
Poppy Isn’t A Fan Of Sleeping, But If She Absolutely Must Do It Then She’ll Do It In My Bed. The Sofa Is My Bed Now
#88
A Cat That Lives On Our Street Likes To Occasionally Pay Us A Visit And Shit In Our Garden
#89
Poppy Likes To Wash Mummy In The Bath
#90
When Kellie Went For Treatment On Her Bad Neck And The Physio Was A Huge Beast
#91
Kellie Isn’t Great With Technology
#92
Every Morning Poppy And I Make Breakfast While Mum Sleeps. I Ask Poppy Where The Weetabix Is And She Looks Up At The Box
#93
The Warm Weather Brings The Insects Out But I Take Care Of The Problem
#94
Kellie Thinks I Eat Too Much Yogurt
#95
Literally 2 Weeks After Dropping Her Phone And Cracking The Screen It’s Happened Again. This Time Poppy Got Hold Of It And Innocently Threw It
#96
Sometimes – Usually When I’m Worried About Something – This Happens
#97
Kellie Cooks A Superb Lasagne, But Last Night It Tasted Wrong. It Didn’t Taste Of Anything Actually. Half Way Through She Revealed We’d Only Had Quorn Mince In The House And She’d Hoped I Wouldn’t Notice
#98
Kellie Has A Mole On Her Face. If I Say To Poppy ‘where’s Mummy’s Mole?’ She Pretends To Tickle It And Says ‘tickertickerticker’
#99
When Kellie Gets Tired And Needs To Sleep She Rubs Her Eyes Loads Like This
#100
Kellie Drops Food On Herself Literally Every Mealtime, And Is Still Surprised Each Time It Happens
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